Writing tired, formulaic Top-10 lists or posts with provocative titles is a shameless way to attract traffic. And I want in on the action! So without further ado, here is my Top Ten Eye-Catching DZone Titles.

1. 10 Ways to get an article on dzone - I’m being self-referential. That means I’m clever!
2. I’m Going To Scale My Foot Up Your Ass - (Not suitable to read at work, I’m afraid.)
3. Ohh regex you naughty naughty boy you - …so very very naughty…
4. Dethreading a Chicken - Sounds complicated.
5. Are You User Experienced? - I voted this one up just for the title.
6. Boo! I’m an Event Manager
7. Revenge of Hello Terracotta - Aha! Someone wrote a post which was a sequel to another post, and in naming it cleverly referenced old monster movie sequels like Revenge of the Creature or Revenge of the Son of Blacula’s Return. What a funny guy that author must be!
8. Hell Hath No Fury Like Polymorphism Scorned
9. You’re Fat and I Hate You - No idea what the post is about, love the title.
10. Unit testing is dumb - I am shocked, shocked and appalled, at such an obviously inflammatory title! What troglodyte wrote this crap?

Thanks for reading…suckers!